ASAP!!

ASAP?
Who in the hell ever invented this acronym? Anyone who uses it regularly is neurotic and has an inferiority complex. I think it gives this moron a sense of being the boss if not for just a couple of seconds in an otherwise loser in life existence. "please send me a copy of the contract ASAP! Thanks!" Why all caps? The first part of your request seems lucid and reasonable but then all of a sudden you're SCREAMING at me to get a move on....and when you SCREAM, I retreat and ASAP suddenly becomes IGTIWIGARYFI (I'll Get To It When I'm Good And Ready You Freeking Idiot; and that's pronounced "ig ti wig uh ree'fee"). By the way, go take a hike if you think putting a :) after an ASAP helps soften the blow of your scream. So, for all of you boss for the day wanna be's, try fully typing out "as soon as possible. Thank you!" next time and who knows, you just may get what you're looking for ASAP :)!

Guts86