The Daily Stain

Best Regards!

I receive a heap load of emails every day at work with about two thirds requiring some sort of action or response. What I find strange with many emails is the closing line, "Best Regards".

What does that mean? BEST regards? Best REGARDS? What are you really trying to say?

When someone sends a Best Regards to me are they implying that at times I should be prepared to receive a less than Best Regards from them? Do they really have less Regard to give? Interestingly it seems as if everyone only have Best Regards to give. If that's the case why don't they just end emails with simply "Regards"? But to be honest I have received some "Regards" only email endings as well. But when only a "Regards" is given I start to develop a serious inferiority complex. "Am I lower on the totem pole to this person? What did I do to not receive a BEST regards from them? WHY DOESN'T THIS PERSON LIKE ME? I MUST BE A TERRIBLE PERSON!

But I do retaliate to that low grade "Regard". My reply is always just a simple "Thank You" ending and as I hit the send button I telepathically push out "that'll teach you to not send your Best Regards to me you sasinfrasinfrusinmus!! karma along with it!

And what about "Kind Regards"...I'm not going to dig too deep into this one because most of the same issues come to mind. But if I ever get an email ending in "Unkind Regards" or an "I Hate You Regards", I'm calling the police and men in white coats on that person.

And just what qualifies as a Best Regard to offer up to another? Has anyone ever measured or quantified a Regard? Do we ever really know if we're sending our very best Regard to someone? You might think you're sending one of your Best Regards when in fact you have only been given the capability to send "Good" or perhaps "Better" Regard, tops, without ever knowing the difference. You'll probably only find this out while at the pearly gates of heaven, St. Peter informs you that God only gave you the ability to send low to medium grade Regards all of your email life. He'll probably tell you that only the likes of Donald Trump were ever able to truly provide the highest grade of Best Regards or perhaps even "The Most Fantastic Regards" to anyone. Or Martha Stewart was given the right to send a tier 1 "Most Scrumptious Regards". Now that would be enough to make me want to choke myself on a dirty doily.

And what about "Regards"? This is one of those out there, grey area words to me. One of the definitions of "regards" is to "judge someone or some thing" or "to have concern for someone". So if I'm given a "Best Regards" is the sender really saying "watch out because I'm judging you the best that I can mister "Email Almighty"? or, "Hey, dude, this is about all of the concern I can possibly muster up for you. So take it or leave it"? If that's the case, I'd rather see emails end in just a "Best" and end it there.

So, the next time you end an email or letter with "Best Regards", maybe think twice about it. What are you really trying to convey to this person? Do you really want to hand out so many of your hard earned Best Regards? I say reign it in a little. Mix it up. Try giving someone a "Mediocre Regards" or "Best Re.....Sincerely Yours" and see how it impacts your relationship.

All My Best to You and Yours! (Now that's a topic for whole 'nother Blog!)

Guts86